Learning On Campus Is Hard

As I sit here procrastinating in lieu of studying for my finance exam with a tutoring zone tab up on my computer and best of intentions but in actuality reading numerous Buzzfeed articles about Channing Tatum and trolling my friends’ 2009 Facebook lives, a thought comes to mind: why is studying on campus at UF so hard? Like, really, we have 50,000 students and all but we also have an $18 million student government budget, so why does finding a study area during finals week take longer than the time you actually plan to study (shout out Newell Hall plan)? As the Reitz Union is being rebuilt to look like a glass bumblebee hive, I’m chilling over here with my Starbucks Venti Iced Mocha Latte and backpack full of Smokin’ Notes with nowhere to cram all of this information into my brain which is an issue because I was socializing the rest of the semester and forgot to study. This, my friends, is what happens when you try to study on campus at UF and a few solutions (See, I have learned something in the past 2 years of college, mom):

So it’s 6 pm and you drive/walk/scoot/bike (and almost run over 10 people on your way because you’re on a bike so you naturally feel entitled to the right of way, always) to Library West, the good ol’ and trusty. You enter, walk past the obnoxious line for Starbucks, and make your way up the escalator, only to find a floor full of people. You walk around the second and third floors looking for a place to call home for the next 7 hours but are left in dismay when you find no spots other than a broken awkward couch chair and the floor… you decide to venture into the unknown… the fourth floor. As the elevator arrives and you step out you suddenly feel judged and hated as every step you take earns you another dirty look from some liberal arts major taking their life way too seriously. Afraid, alone, and feeling unloved you go back to floor two, as that awkward one seat at a table full of ATOs seems like heaven now. You take it. Then all of a sudden you are bombarded with the reality that you are in Club West, floor 2 mind you, and you haven’t showered in 2 days and are wearing the same norts you have worn for the past 4 days in a row. If you are even mildly facey, which you of course are, you realize your mistake at once as a minimum of 4 people you know will inevitably see you while studying, come up to you and attempt to strike up a conversation about some nonsense while you’re just trying to not fail or allow those around you to realize you forgot to put on deodorant today. Not only do you realize you will be distracted and get nothing done but you will also be sacrificing your facey image, as you look really ratchet right now. Disgruntled, you gather your study materials and head down the escalator to your next try… Marston.

Marston. This is good. You’ll just study with all the quiet engineers and future doctors. Let’s be honest, they don’t care what you look like. They’ll all probably look just as bad and smell too, because they’re taking physics and organic chemistry and stuff. You walk in and make your way up to floor 2. Looks nice enough. When all of a sudden you realize that every chemistry and biomedical engineering major (I think that’s a major…) is there, studying, and serious because they actually care about their future. Therefore, there are no seats and every floor is a quiet floor during finals week. Overcome with the same feelings you had when visiting the 4th floor of West, and revisiting your 9th grade self esteem issues, you don’t even dare to venture to the top of this building as you can’t even envision what is going on up there. Like you probably need to know some strange Startreck handshake to even be allowed in and all you know about that movie is that the hot dude from Princess Diaries 2 was in the remake. You mentally punish yourself for not listening when your ex-boyfriend tried to get you to watch it with him. All of a sudden you feel embarrassed that you are holding a Political Science book about the fall of communism (totally unimportant in relation to derivatives) and all these kids who resemble Sheldon Cooper in looks and persona are staring you down with such intense daggers that you are afraid to even take another sip of your almost finished latte because you don’t want the ice to shift and make noise. You feel sweaty, nervous, and really afraid. Suddenly, all of your concerns about you future well up in you as you have no idea what you want to do with your life or you kind of do but you aren’t a stem major so these people will all make more money than you. Immediately you leave, and as you make your way to the education library. You feel okay as you hold onto the thought that you may marry rich so suck it stem majors… That makes sense, right?

You enter the education library, where everyone is talking and working on group projects because they are education majors so, although you truly respect their tolerance for children’s stickiness, you don’t know if they really take finals. Immediately annoyed by the noise and distraction you make your way back to the center of campus and decide to set up shop in the hub. Unfortunately, you are overwhelmed with the same feeling of resentment for those around you talking about what happened on Game of Thrones last night really loudly while you are trying to study. Like, who do they think they are? Just because you are freshman working on Man’s Food and you don’t actually do anything doesn’t mean some of us aren’t struggling through finance over here, tryna figure out what the flip an ROA is. Homegirl, please. Suddenly you find that, without your knowledge and while lost in a fantasy about stabbing everyone around you with a really dull knife, you have slipped into your RBF (resting word not appropriate for my blog face) and now you are that same person on the 4th floor of library west who you felt judged by. Now you understand them. You feel compassion for them. Not the annoying chick next to you completely butchering her summary of the finale of How I Met Your Mother (how dare she call it ‘fair’, it was inhuman and took you a whole half gallon of ice cream and 3 days to get over), but your compassion is for the studious individual currently nestled up to their laptop on 4th floor West writing a paper about existentialism. Annoyed and tired, you finally retire home, to your apartment, and attempt to stay up half the night (or until 7 am because you snuck in a solid 3 hours of Netflix between those study edge lectures, lets be real) studying because you just wasted 4 hours on campus trying to find somewhere to LEARN. Isn’t that what college is for? I mean hey, on the bright side you just burned off all the calories from that cupcake you stress ate earlier today, but that isn’t the point. You still don’t know what an ROA is. But your professors don’t care when the exam comes.

Where to actually study during finals week: If you MUST go to Lib West (beware the faceys, grad students with ulcers and obnoxious chicks who are “studying” for Wildlife Issues but really only trying to mack on some hot business majors) go to the basement. It isn’t as known or popular as the other floors and it’s quiet. You may be blessed by God and find a seat. Take it and hide you face. The faceys are coming for ya. If you’re smart, you will try Smathers. Although it closes pretty early, the hallway on the first floor is actually a GODSEND. Nobody talks, everyone gets their own plug and the booths are so darn comfy. Pugh hall can be a gem if you are able to find a little pod that is open. It’s also good for napping… which may or may not be contrary to the goal but it’s whatever (you’d probably be on Buzzfeed learning what Frozen character you are instead of actually studying if you weren’t asleep anyway). Law library can also be a solid choice, although it’s far and some law students get sassy when they see undergrads there but, who knows, maybe that’s where you will find your rich future spouse (shout out to all those guys in search of a sugar momma to call their own… you won’t even have to study). Lastly, the fine arts library; sweet double chocolate cupcakes with frosting, go there. It will change your life just a bit… JK a lot. Like I’m talking the epitome of ON POINT. The key is fine arts people are generally quiet enough that they won’t distract you because they’re like really emotionally involved in their sculpture or whatever, but liberal enough that they are tolerant of all majors and overlooked enough that nobody even knows they have a library (Did you? Sorry Fine Arts majors, I think you are all great). It is, admittedly, not easy to find, but once you discover this jewel it will be like when you watched Elf for the first time or the first time you learned about Ronald Reagan and your eyes were opened up and your heart was filled with joy and dancing sugarplums.

Good luck on your finals. Sorry if you’re sitting in Library West right now . I’m gonna go actually study because lol this is longer than the paper I’m writing for my political science class and I’m not planning to be a trophy wife so I actually have to do well in my classes. DARN. Happy finals week.